This actually happened to me, a couple of weeks back.


So here I am.

The setting: Work. I work at an ISP, I'm in the reception office, answering phones. (I'm a call centre monkey.)

Normally, I'd be in the call centre, impatiently waiting for people to call. But today, I'm in the reception office.

So, what's led to this STAGGERINGLY UNCANNY TURN OF EVENTS?

I arrived at work at 4:45 pm. Right when I'm supposed to. Strangely, I parked out the front today. I don't normally, as out the front of my ISP offices is a main street. On the other side of which is a Pub, Bowling Alley/Night Club, and a Motorcycle store. The patrons of which I do not trust to be around my car.

However, if I had driven my car around the back (involving travelling out of the CBD, turning onto a dirt track, then driving all the way back to my store) I would have arrived late. Which is rather rude to the person supposed to finish at 5.

So anyway, I parked out the front and came in the front door.

I enter the reception area and... Strangely... my coworker, who should be in the call centre with his feet up on the desk generally looking lazy, is sitting behind the reception desk. Quite un-strangely, he's on the phone. (This is not strange but it IS rather important, in part because it is his job to talk on the phone, and in part because it leads into the next bit.)

Interestingly, rather than giving a cool nod to my expression of mild confusion and vague interest (at why he is sitting in reception on the phone rather than being in the call centre on the phone), he gestures at me, somewhat frantically, and indicates for me to wait until he's off the phone.

My curiosity piqued, I put down my ribs(delicious, or so I thought, pork ribs from a local pizza joint) and my bag of crap (DVDs, drinks and chocolate to see me through the next 5 hours.), and I sit down, in one of the reception chairs, to wait. Strangely, the door to the call centre is closed. (This may not seem strange, but it is because we normally keep it open.) There is also a printer advertisement on plasti-card sitting upside down, and facing away from me, at the bottom of the call centre door.

Coworker finally finishes on the phone. "Hey." he says in greeting. Apparently, since I'm doing what he wanted me to do, there is no need to be in the least bit frantic anymore.

"So, um..." I say, gesturing to him, the desk, and the closed call centre door.

At this point he tells me "Yeah, there's a bees nest in the call centre roof!"

Normally, this wouldn't be too much of an issue, one simply is not required to crawl into the roof space when one works in a call centre. Where a bees nest does become a problem though is in this particular building, as the ceiling has been artistically designed using a great many (strangley bee sized) holes. These factors resulted in the call centre, playing guest to a large number of rather confused bees. (Confused because they headed towards the light thinking they were going outside, and ended up in a call centre. And that would confuse anyone.)

As it is nearly 5:00, and will soon be getting dark, my immeasurably helpful coworker says "Should probably turn the lights on." And promptly does so.

Within minutes, the bees, emboldened by this new source of light(which must surely be the great outside, in which it did not occur to them to build their nest) begin charging towards the lights (which are down-lights set into the ceiling. Down-lights actually provide quite a bit of light above the ceiling as well as below.) and pushing their way through the holes to get to the light.

It is at this point that my coworker says "Well ****." and then leaves.

I turn off the lights again, and kill the bees who have come into reception. I also go and kill the bee that has decided that the stairway light is a really awesome thing.

So now, here I am, sitting in a dark reception office, pretending it's a call centre, and hiding from the bees who have taken over the call centre and I'm wondering, should I have parked around the back today?